What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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