haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how drunk are you?
Several
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
