Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
