who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
