in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
