I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
