belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's great music for shaving your balls
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
