North Korea, Best Korea!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
