Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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