It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
