Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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