dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
