Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
