Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
