Me. At least after what I've been through.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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