Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
