I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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