69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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