i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
