I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
