It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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