What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
