i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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