I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
