I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
