Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
