Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
