Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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