Well apparently he's into motor boating.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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