And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
