thus making me awesome and them whores
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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