So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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