I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Pants are for mortals
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
