Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
