This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
