It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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