Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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