This girl is more easily done than said...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
