I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
