We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
