I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
