he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
