can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
