I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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