Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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