last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
