birth control should be required to get into college
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
