Having a random hookup so left but love u
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
