we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
