remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
