Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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