guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
