so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
As shirtless as possible
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
