hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
