i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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